Monday, March 8, 2010

Lessons in Morality; by way of Goldfish

When taking The Darlings to the grocery store I have learned one key maneuver; I get each kid a mini-carton of goldfish right off the bat. For one, food in the Darlings’ mouths = Quiet Darlings. Second, with them already being in possession of a treat I have leverage when they inevitably begin asking for cookies and cupcakes and tubs of pure lard.
Sorry, Darlings, but you already have goldfish so you can’t have any other goodies. Besides, Mommy needs room in the basket for her own cookies and cupcakes and …well, nevermind.

Today we encountered goldfish catastrophe when one Darling was curious as to the amount of fish in possession of the other Darling and that Darling didn’t like the invasion of her fish so she jerked them away from her sister and subsequently smacked them into my face which caused the entire content of the carton to spill.

Immediate ethical conundrum.

I know that the only decent thing to do is to summon an employee and get a broom so I can sweep this mess up. But, the embarrassment. Everyone walking by with their “Lady needs to get her kids under control” faces. And grocery shopping with the Darlings is an energy-draining enough task without adding chores into the experience. I do the look around to see if anyone notices the spill. They don’t. I slowly begin to wheel away when Ashlyn yells “Uh oh Mommy; we need to clean up Kenly’s mess.”

Ugh, Ashlyn; ALWAYS with the morals and values.

I think the cute young employee saw the desperation and terror in my eyes when I flagged him down because he ordered me to keep shopping; that he would take care of it. Well, or the $20 I slipped him did the trick.

Either way? I got home with chocolate chip cookies and the Darlings have no clue where they’re stashed. Success.


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