Monday, November 9, 2009

Not a Woman of my word..

I was determined to post every day, and believe me I certainly have enough reasons to be thankful to warrant a post every day. I simply failed. But you all will forgive me. Or you won't. Whatev.
Moving along...

My darling husband is a sound sleeper. Like, I’m convinced that if I were to (one night after he’s asleep) call all of our friends, have them pile into the bedroom, fill them full of liquor and crank some heavy metal jams he would simply adjust his snoring rhythm to match the music and stay nicely tucked away in dreamland. (I may need to test this theory….)

*He's going to KILL me for posting this - it was after a day of swimming on vacation*
Over the course of our marriage his nightly nocturnal coma has created some interesting predicaments. Until recently the funniest (also scariest) incident happened when Ashlyn was a newborn. I asked him around 3 a.m. to get me a bottle and after stumbling and fumbling around for 15 minutes or so he returned with a tiny little baby bottle full of Dr. Pepper. I’m not kidding. And he was absolutely positive that I requested a bottle of Dr. Pepper. For a 2 week old.

The latest episode went like this:

*I woke up around 12:30 one night to the sound of our house alarm….I wrestle Allen to wake him*

K: Babe, wake up – the alarm is going off…. BABE! WAKE UP!

A: Oh… ok…

*Al Stumbles off… after a minute or two the alarm stops screaming. He gets back in bed with a growl *

K: Thanks, babe… did you turn the alarm back on?

A: Oh… no…

* he rolls back out of bed, again stumbles to the front door…stumbles back to bed*

K: Wow; that’s really scary – someone just tried to break in our house…

*Allen SPRINGS out of bed; grabs the baseball bat and starts looking out of the window*

A: WHAT? Someone tried to break in?? Huh??

K: That’s usually why an alarm goes off in the middle of the night. Yes, dear.

*Allen is still scouring the yard from the window; still with bat in hand*

K: Honey; it’s been 5 minutes since the alarm went off, and I’m pretty sure it scared them away at that point. Whoever it was is gone now. You can come back to bed.

Suffice it to say; I am now in charge of any midnight burglaries that take place in the McMillan household as my husband is liable to get confused and rob his own house rather than protecting it.

Even though he's like a fat momma bear in hibernation when he sleeps - I am 125 % thankful for that beautiful, hot, sexy, strong, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, supportive and hilarious man that snores loudly in the bed next to me.


1 comment: