Maybe The Hubs should watch his back

My Dearest Bottle of Caprock Blush, (or whatever other wine product is in my possession)

The exploding POP and gentle fizzing noises you make are the soundtrack of my soul. I often shudder as I caress your smooth curves and spill your contents into my over-sized glass. Each night as I tuck my Darlings’ into dreamland I am filled with anticipation, for I know that soon you and I will be together. Alone. I fully trust that what you hold inside of you will bring me delight* with each and every rendezvous.

Our relationship is deep, and it is real. What we have is a beautiful co-dependency. The love of a lifetime.

I vow to you here and now (Does anyone else hear Luther Vandross in the background?) that my adoration for you will remain unchanged through the course of my existence.

I Remain Your Beloved Always,
Kayla

*and the slightest of buzzes

Also, a couch decoration.

Jacket: a garment for the upper body usually having a front opening, collar, lapels, sleeves, and pockets b : something worn or fastened around the body but not for use as clothing

Though I'm not certain; I believe Webster is trying to say "When it's bloody cold outside; put on your friggin' jacket." It's a basic concept; really it is, but I cannot seem to remember it from day to day.

Alas, I freeze my choochoos off every morning and curse the couch that, thanks to my lack of logic, is all warm and toasty. I wouldn't be surprised if I got home and the blasted piece of furniture is snuggling with my blanket, too. Jerk.

Cheers!

You know, that little holiday in December..

It’s like this, people. I have these kids. And this husband. And some whack-o’s who call themselves my friends. Then of course we have laundry (mounds and mounds and piles and piles of it). Along with dirty dishes. Crusty toothpaste on the sink. Bottles of wine that will not drink themselves.

What I’m trying to say is that finding the time to sit at the computer and conjure up articulate accounts of my life that, let’s face it, absolutely no one (except for my mom occasionally) gives a rip about is tough.

Today, however; I told all of the whack-o’s/friends to take a hike, locked my children in a shed (Waiting for the phone call from Hance), shoved the laundry under my bed, ignored the grime covering every surface of this house, slammed a bottle of wine and here I am. With pictures of Christmas.


On Christmas Eve the girls opened these beautiful little gown sets from Allen’s mom. They proceeded to twirl and swish and giggle and “MOMMY TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS IT’S SO PRETTY” for a solid hour. Gramma is in serious trouble though, because now any and all other pajamas are scoffed at by the darlings. Why eat jello when you have crème brulee?

Ah, there’s Hubs, aka Daddy, aka infinite toy putter together-er. He is just so scrumptious when he’s working though, isn’t he?

And Me? Moi? Yours Truly? What am I doing while sweet Hubs is assembling 455 dolls? Well I’m, uh, um – I’m directing traffic. Yup. That’s it. Just trying to keep the public safe from the ice. I am absolutely NOT skating on the ice, by myself, on Christmas Day, while my hubby is single-handedly warding off the restless demands of the darlings on a Santa-high. Why, no self-respecting and decent mother would do THAT.

The Reason for Which I Live

Each morning I wake thinking "Am I going to make it through this day?" I ponder over the hardships in life and the obstacles that I'll surely face. But then, as predictable as the sun, I am overcome with beautiful thoughts. Thoughts of the one thing that prompts me to roll my large behind out of bed, into the shower and onward towards my day. The thing that adds sweetness and goodness and meaning to every inch of my life.

What could this thing be?

My husband with the cute backside?

My darlings with the laughs made of pure sunshine?

My job?

My unpredictable and often unruly hair?

(Wait.. we're looking for a good thing here... )


No. None of these. There is something far superior that awakens my spirit. Something that also adds inches to the aforementioned large backside.

Cupcakes.

And not just any ol' run-of-the-mill cupcakes... the gourmet ones from "Cake" in Kingsgate Center to be specific. If you have not experienced this decadence yet; stop reading this blog. Immediately. Pack yourself up and run, speed, fly - to this place. Try one of each flavor. Get an icing shot (yeah, they sell those). And prepare yourself for the life-altering happiness that will come your way.

Ahh, the sugary, cake-y, icing-y, heavenly little pastries for which I swoon.

The icing. Oh, the icing. It is of such quality that you must eat it S-L-O-W-L-Y so as to fully appreciate its divinity. Then there's the cake. So moist, and so rich, and so.....

Oh. Excuse me. Just looking at these photos sent me into a frenzy.

As long as there are cupcakes, I will forge on. I will forge on in pure bliss. And I love my family some, too.

Cheers!

Watch out for that second one..

... she's a real doozie.

The victim:

The culprit:

No; seriously. What is it with these second children? While I love her ball-bustin' attitude and know it will come in handy later in life, her strong sense of self and bold opinions make for some 2 year old temper tantrums straight out of the pits of hell.

Ok, that might be a tad exaggerated.

Cheers!

Hold on; let me grab the list.

In preparing for the wonderful holiday of thankfulness I was left with no time for blogging about being thankful. Ironic, no? I jotted this down the night before Thanksgiving and I'm thinking the week before Christmas isn't too late to post it...

I have probably mentioned this before – I am a list maker. I’m not talking scribbled notes on a post-it note type of thing, either. I create color-coded, multiple category lists on excel spreadsheets for everything from grocery needs to Christmas gifts. I even have a list of other lists I need to make. (I am very much type-A). I often communicate through email in list form; last night I chatted with a friend on facebook in list form. My listing ability really knows no boundaries.
So today I will offer you multiple things for which I am thankful in the form of a list.

1. My hairdryer – because for the 15 or so minutes that I use it every morning my ears are deaf to the darlings’ pleas for snacks, or cries from one darling because the other has hit her/stolen her toy/looked at her the wrong way. For those 15 glorious minutes I am the parent of two well-behaved children who speak softly and live in perfect harmony with one another.

2. Scrubbing Bubbles – they work hard; so I don’t have to.

3. Southerners – it had to be a southerner that decided frying the turkey for Thanksgiving would work out. And work out it does. Hubby kicks some serious turkey-frying butt every year which liberates me from the hassle. (It also liberates our guests from the burnt-ness which would certainly occur if I were left in charge.)

4. Bright green foaming hand soap- because the dried remnants of it left on the bathroom counter each day is proof that my darlings are washing their hands.


Cheers!

"WHY didn't it say to SLOW DOWN?"

I am huge fan of all things Christmas and as such was thrilled when Jess invited me to attend the Holiday Pops concert with her. So, I threw on the face paint (which doesn't happen often with me) and clothes that didn't smell of young child goo and off we went.

I must say that for Jessica and I the outing was somewhat non-eventful. Usually when we are together we cannot stop talking long enough to take correct exits or turns or refrain from swerving violently after being temporarily blinded by laughter. We've even been known to skid off of a loose gravel road because our gift of gab caused us to miss the "SLOW DOWN; LOOSE GRAVEL AHEAD" sign. We cannot watch movies together, we cannot schedule "Quick" visits with one another - it's just understood that we lack the ability to shut up in each other's company.

On to the actual concert; we got there unharmed and sans any major traffic violations. The concert was wonderful; complete with a drunken elderly couple sitting next to me and a garlic-breathed man singing behind Jessica. The conductor was fabulous and certainly devoted to his craft, though I'm convinced he should take stock in Excedrin as his head bobs more violently than my car when careening off of gravel roads. But I digress.

The choir did a number that was simply breathtaking and a rendition of the Twelve Days of Christmas that made me actually enjoy the song. (Come on; there's no way around it. It's just TOO long.)

All in all it was a splendid evening; and miraculously Jess and I managed to keep quiet for most of the concert.

Also, Christmas is 11 days away. Ecstasy.

I'll try to be a better blogger.

Cheers!